Religious Ceremonies

Many couples choose to marry in a religious place of worship due to their traditions and beliefs. You will find that many places of worship are licensed to marry couples, but for more information you will need to speak to the religious leader in charge of that specific venue and check whether they are licensed or whether you also need to speak to a registrar at your local registry office to give notification of intent to marry.

Christianity:

To marry within a Church of England church, you must live within that parish or worship regularly at that church. When giving notice to marry, Banns will be read on three Sundays preceding the wedding. To marry in the church you must speak to the minister who will explain requirements and answer any questions you may have.

Catholic weddings may need dispensation or for the non catholic partner to convert to Catholicism, and again it is important to speak to the priest regarding requirements and any questions you may have.

Unless you marry in Church of England or Church of Wales by banns of common license, you have to give notice to your local superintendent registrar under present legal requirements.

The ceremony consists of the bride and bridegroom repeating wedding vows and exchanging ring, there are readings from the bible and hymns are sung, the couple are then taken to sign the register to legally bind their marriage. The ceremony usually lasts about an hour.

Hinduism:

Hindu celebrations are usually very colourful and can last over several days with hundreds of relatives and guests visiting the venue and/or house to congratulate the couple and offer gifts.

Before the priest begins the religious ceremony, the bridegroom is welcomed into the home by the brides father and is offered gifts. The bride is then brought into the venue and sits facing her husband to be under a decorated canopy called the mandap ready for the ceremony to begin. In some ceremonies both the bride and groom remain veiled until they are married. Both the bride and bridegroom perform the varmala ceremony which involves exchanging garlands of flowers signifying hearts, mind and soul.

The next part of the ceremony is then performed by a Hindu priest who emphasises the importance of marriage. A cord binds the couples right hands together and holy water is sprinkled over them. The brides father then hands her over to the bridegroom in kanyadanam (kanya means bride and danam means gift).

The pheras (seven steps) is then performed which involves the couple circling the sacred fire. The couple walk around the fire in a clockwise direction with the brides veil being attached to the bridegrooms attire. The steps symbolise food, strength, wealth, fortune, children, happy seasons and friendships. The seventh step denotes that the marriage is complete and therefore irrevocable. In Hindu Gujarati weddings only four steps around the fire are taken and are known as the managalpheras.

The couple may also recite the Sapta Padi (seven wedding vows) whilst the groom assists her to touch seven betel nuts with her right toes.

The couple then take blessings from the elders by touching their feet. Sweet food is then offered to the household god, and then fed to each other, and the ceremony is completed with prayers and readings.

After feasting and celebrations the Bride leaves the house, bidding farewell to her parents and family, and marking the move from her own family to her husbands. This is known as the Vidai ceremony.

Islam / Muslim Weddings:

Before the marriage ceremony the bridegroom is assisted by the serbala (youngest boy in the family), and they are fed a sweet food called laddu before departing for the ceremony.

The Bridegroom wearing a Shera (a turban with a floral veil) leads the marriage procession to the brides house. However before arriving at the brides house, he attends the mosque to say prayers and seek the blessing of allah.

On entering the brides house the nikah (ceremony) begins and garlands are given to the groom and serbala. The Bridegroom is then offered sweet milk or sherbert to symbolise a sweet start to married life.

The religious ceremony is then performed by a Qazi who conducts the marriage by reading from the Koran, with two male witnesses who receive orders for the nikah from the brides family. The elders of the two families then arrange mehar (an amount of money given to the brides family by the grooms family).

At this time the bride and bridegroom sit on separate sides of the room. The brides father and the two appointed male witnesses ask the bride if she agrees to marry the bridegroom and then the bridegroom is asked if he agrees to marry the bride. Once they have both agreed the nikahnama (marriage certificate) is completed to signify to binding of the marriage.

After both the legal and religious ceremonies are undertaken, a reception of celebration follows at the brides house. The dawat-e-walima feast is then thrown, which features a reception to welcome the bride to the grooms family.

Sikhism:

The marriage ceremony takes place in the Gurudwara (Sikh place of worship) or the brides home, and wherever the ceremony takes place the Guru Granth Sahib (Sikh Holy Book) should be present.

Firstly the Gharoli ceremony is conducted at the bridegrooms house and involves the grooms sister in law and other female relatives to fill up a Gharoli (earthen pitcher) with water from a nearby well or the Gurudwara, which is used to bathe the bridegroom.

The Kahre Charna is then performed which involves the Bridegroom sitting on a stool and four females holding a cloth over his head. He is bathed using the water from the Gharoli and then dressed in his ceremonial clothes, consisting of a coloured pink red or orange chunni around his neck, a sword by his side and sehrabandi (floral veil over his forehead). The kalgi (a plume on his turban) is then usually performed by his maternal uncle and kajal (black kohl applied under the eyes) usually performed by his Bhabi (sister in law).

At the same time a similar bathing ritual occurs at the brides house, and after this the choora ceremony is performed. The brides uncle takes her through this, with the bride wearing red and white bangles that have been dipped in kachchi lassi (similar to buttermilk). Kaleeren (ornaments with golden metal plates that dangle) are then tied to the brides wrist by her female relatives and she is ready to attend her wedding ceremony.

The Baraat (wedding procession) then leaves for the ceremony and is followed by the milni (meeting ceremony) in which the two families embrace and exchange gifts. On entering the Gurudwara or place where the ceremony will take place, shabads (hymns) are sung and aardas (prayers) are recited.

A Granthi (holy man) leads the ceremony and is in charge. The Granthi explains the importance of marriage and the couple agree to marry by bowing to the Guru Granth Sahib (holy book).The brides father then ties the brides chunni to the bridegrooms scarf to symbolise the departure from her family into the grooms family.

Lavan (a marriage hymn of four verses written by Guru Ram Das) is then sung, as relatives help the couple to circle the Guru Granth Sahib after each verse. The couple is declared married after the fourth verse.

The elders recite the hidaayat or niyams (duties and responsibilities of the bride and bridegroom) to the couple and final prayers are said.

Karah Parshad (sweets made from flour and sugar) are then handed to family and friends to seek Gods blessings for the newly weds. The couple are then garlanded and presented with gifts. Finally a meal follows and later the bride changes clothes that have been presented to her by the grooms family. She departs her house throwing back grains of rice, symbolising her wish for prosperity to the family she has left behind.

Other Religions:

These are just a few of the many different religious ceremonies that can be performed for spiritual couples wanting to marry in the UK today.

In the UK we see a diverse range of cultures and therefore the religious needs of couples can be met in most places. Places of worship for those with Jewish, Buddhist, Hebrew, Greek Orthodox and Wicca beliefs amongst others will be able to advise you on the ceremony and all that you need to know to have a spiritual wedding that reflects your beliefs.

Weddings-With-Style Tips:

In 2007 there is talk of relaxing the above rules which will enable couples to marry in any registered religious venue they choose as long as they have some connection with that place. For more information it may be best to speak to the religious leader of the place where you would like to marry to see what options are available to you.