Wedding Customs & Traditions
There are many customs and superstitions associated with weddings.
Many of these originated centuries ago and are modern interpretations
of old customs. In the past a wedding was seen as a time when
people were particularly susceptible to bad luck and evil spirits,
therefore customs were created to try and ward off these unlucky
spirits to ensure a happy married life.
Some customs, such as the rhyme "something old, something
new ...", or the bride not being seen by the bridegroom in
her wedding dress before the ceremony, are known throughout the
UK and many other parts of the world. Other customs may be regional
or even maintained within families from generation to generation.
These customs and traditions are maintained in the belief that
they will bring good luck and happiness to the couple at an important
and life changing time. Below are a few examples of these:
The Proposal
In the past due to respect for elders in families, the prospective
bridegroom would send his friends or members of his family to
represent his interests to the prospective bride and her family.
If during the journey they saw a blind man, a monk or a pregnant
woman they would cease their journey as it was thought that the
marriage would be doomed if they continued. This is because these
sights were thought to be bad omens. However, if the chosen representatives
saw nanny goats, pigeons or wolves the journey was continued as
it was believed these were good omens which would bring good fortune
to the marriage. Nowadays it is tradition for the prospective
bridegroom to get down on one knee and propose. Some bridegrooms
still ask the brides father for permission to marry their daughter
however in most cases this is not required by modern day families.
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Choosing the day
Although most weddings now take place on a Saturday it was considered
unlucky in the past. Fridays were also considered unlucky particularly
Friday the 13th which is still a day on which people believe bad
luck falls.
This rhyme advises which day to marry:
This rhyme advises what month to marry:
Nowadays there is no tradition regarding which month to marry.
Summer weddings are still popular but this is more to do with
good weather than anything else.
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Surnames
It was thought to be unlucky for a woman to marry a man whose
surname began with the same letter as hers. This rhyme tells of
this:
It was also believed that the bride should not practice writing
her new name before the wedding, as this was thought to bring
bad luck and tempt fate.
Nowadays it is still tradition to take the bridegrooms surname.
Some brides do still keep their maiden names or an ever popular
choice is to double-barrel names so that both bride and bridegroom
have a new name in their new married life.
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Preparation
The following rhyme originates from Victorian times and is now
well known in the UK and abroad:
"Something old" is symbolic of the couples friends
who will hopefully remain close during their married life. Traditionally
something old was an old garter given to the bride by a happily
married woman in the hope that her happiness in marriage would
be passed on to the new bride.
"Something new" symbolises the newlyweds' happy and
prosperous future.
"Something borrowed" is often lent by the bride's
family and is an item much valued by the family. The bride must
return the item to ensure good luck.
"Something blue" originated in ancient Israel where
the bride wore a blue ribbon in her hair to represent fidelity.
The placing of a silver sixpence in the bride's shoe was to ensure
wealth in the couples married life. Today some brides substitute
a penny in their shoe during the ceremony as silver sixpences
are less common.
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The wedding dress
It is thought to be unlucky for the bride to make her own wedding
dress.
Also the bride should not wear her entire outfit before the wedding
day, as it is said to be bad luck. Therefore some brides leave
a final stitch on the dress undone until it is time to leave for
the ceremony, the final stitch sewn symbolises that the outfit
is completed.
The following rhyme offers advice on wedding dress colours:
It is believed to be unlucky for the bridegroom to see the bride
in her wedding dress before she arrives at the ceremony and this
tradition is still followed by many couples in modern day.
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The Veil
The veil was traditionally worn by Roman brides who believed
it would outwit evil spirits and therefore protect the bride who
was thought to be vulnerable to malevolent spirits and therefore
needed protection. The veil symbolised this protection against
malevolent spirits. In the UK the veil became popular in the eighteen
hundreds, however In this country it is associated with modesty
and chastity.
In some eastern countries and in some religious ceremonies the
bride is veiled and the bridegroom is not allowed to see the brides
face until after the wedding ceremony. However some bridegrooms
want to make sure the bride is his intended and he is not being
tricked! Therefore In some Jewish weddings there is a ritual where
the groom ensures that the bride is his intended before placing
the veil over her face.
Veils are still worn by brides in modern day some are for religious
reasons and traditions but in western culture veils tend to be
a fashion commodity rather than hold deep symbolic reference nowadays.
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Shoes
Wedding customs involving shoes are thought to bring good luck.
The best known is to tie shoes to the back of the newlyweds' car
when it is decorated. This evolved from the Tudor custom where
guests would throw shoes at the newlywed couple as they travelled
in their carriage, It was considered lucky if they or their carriage
were hit.
Another custom is for the bride's father to give the groom a
pair of the bride's shoes to symbolise the passing of responsibility
for the daughter to her new husband. A variation of the custom
is for the groom to tap the bride on the forehead with one of
the shoes to assert his dominance, however nowadays this is less
likely to happen as the bride and bridegroom hold equal partnership
in their relationship instead of the male asserting dominance.
Some customs that we still perform in modern day have been adapted
for example the custom of the bride throwing her bouquet over
her shoulder, this was originally performed by her throwing one
of her shoes over her shoulder but represented the same meaning
that the one who caught it would be the next to marry!
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Garters
It is still tradition for the bride to wear a garter on her wedding
day and this related back to the old rhyme "something old..."
Another custom is for the groom to remove the garter worn by the
bride and throw it back over his shoulder toward the unmarried
male guests. Custom states the one who catches it will be the
next to marry.
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Flowers
Some people choose the flowers at the wedding on the basis of
their symbolic meaning.
For example:
However, some people attach different meanings to the same flower.
For example lilies symbolise majesty to some but are thought unlucky
by others because of their association with death and funerals.
It is believed that a combination of red and white flowers is
avoided by the superstitious because they represent blood and
bandages and signify bad luck.
It is tradition for the groom to choose a flower for his buttonhole
which also occurs in the bride's bouquet. This represents a time
in history when a Knight would wear his Lady's colours to display
his love.
After the reception the bride throws her bouquet back over her
shoulder where the unmarried female guest group together. Tradition
states that the one who catches the bouquet will be the next one
to marry. This tradition is still a feature of many weddings today.
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The Bridal Party
Bridesmaids
Bridesmaids were dressed in a similar way to the bride for the
same reason as the tradition of the veil. It was thought that
the bridesmaids would act as decoys to confuse evil spirits and
thus protect the bride.
The Best Man
It is the best man's duty to protect the groom from bad luck.
He must ensure that once the groom has began his journey to the
church he does not return for any reason.
He must also arrange for the groom to carry a small mascot or
charm in his pocket on the wedding day. When the best man is paying
the church minister's fee he should pay him an odd sum to bring
luck to the couple.
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On the way to the wedding
When the bride is ready to leave the house for the wedding ceremony
one last look in the mirror will bring good luck. However returning
to the mirror once she has began her journey will result in bad
luck.
Seeing a chimney sweep on the way to a wedding is though to bring
good luck and it is still possible to hire one to attend wedding
ceremonies.
Other good luck omens when seen on the way to the ceremony include:
Bad Luck omens include:
Weather also has symbolic references from olden times:
- Bad weather on the way to the wedding is thought to be an
omen of an unhappy marriage but in some cultures rain is considered
a good omen.
- Cloudy skies and wind are believed to cause stormy marriages.
Snow is associated with fertility and wealth.
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Confetti
Confetti in the Italian language means sweets which in Italy
are thrown over the couple as they emerge from the Church.
Before the use of paper confetti which is the popular choice
used nowadays, the married couple were showered with flowers,
petals, rice or grains. In the past the custom was to throw many
small cakes over the bride in a similar way in which we throw
confetti today. The symbolism for confetti is for guests to bestow
prosperity and fertility on the couple.
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The Wedding Cake
Cutting the wedding cake is now a part of celebrations at the
reception. The couple make the first cut together to symbolise
their shared future.
An old English custom was to place a ring in the wedding cake.
The guest who found the ring in their the piece of cake would
be ensured happiness for the next year.
It is said that unmarried guests who place a piece of wedding
cake under their pillow before sleeping will increase there prospects
of finding a partner and bridesmaids who do likewise will dream
of their future husbands.
Nowadays the top tier of the cake is often kept by couples for
the christening of their first child.
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Crossing the Threshold
After the wedding the bride must enter the new marital home through
the main entrance.
It is custom for the groom to carry the bride over the threshold
when they enter for the first time. There are many explanations
for this:
- One explanation is that the bride will be visited by bad luck
if she falls when entering.
- A second explanation is that the bride will be unlucky if
she steps into the new home with the left foot first, the reasons
for this are unknown.
- A third explanation is that it symbolises the old Anglo-Saxon
custom of the groom stealing his bride and carrying her off.
The bride can avoid all of these mishaps by being carried.
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The Honeymoon
The term "honeymoon" is though to originate from the
Anglo-Saxon times when a man captured his bride. The couple would
hide from the bride's parents before marrying. The couple would
then remain in hiding for a further cycle of the moon after the
wedding. During this period they drank honey wine. Hence the term
Honey - Moon.
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The couples first purchase
It is said that the first partner who buys a new item after the
wedding will be the dominant one in the relationship. Many brides
ensure that they make the first purchase by arranging to buy a
small item such as a pin from the chief bridesmaid immediately
after the ceremony.
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Weddings-With-Style Tips:
Remember these customs are only superstition and do not mean
bad luck will occur. A lot of the time they are just old wives
tales and in modern day are just treated as a bit of fun! Above
all remember you as a couple will make your own luck!
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